i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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