I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
