but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
