Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
