i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
