didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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