I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
