I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
