just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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