Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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