No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
