Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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