I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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