I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
