I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
