Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
