Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
