i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
