his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Operation Purity has been aborted
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
