the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
