You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
