dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
