SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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