Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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