Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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