he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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