My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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