physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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