So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
