His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Randomize
