dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
