He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
