We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
