We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
high people should be assigned attendants
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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