YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
