RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Do vagina's smell?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
