I could have mohawked her pubes.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
