I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
