I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
