I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His hands were made for my vagina.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
