thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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