Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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