he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
