I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
