Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize