Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
