You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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