She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
