these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
