Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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